Why “My Way or the Highway” Is a Culture Killer

You ever work somewhere or lead somewhere where the vibe was: do it exactly like this or don’t do it at all? Yeah, me too. Transparently…I’ve been that guy many times. And let me just say, if you’re trying to build a healthy culture, that mindset is the fastest way to run it straight into the ground.

Now don’t get me wrong. Clarity is good. Standards are good. We need direction, frameworks, expectations. But when leadership starts confusing control with clarity, things get toxic fast.

Because here’s what “my way or the highway” actually communicates to your team:
We don’t trust you.
Your ideas don’t matter.
We’re not here to collaborate, we’re here to comply.

And when people feel like they’re just order-takers, they stop thinking critically. They stop taking initiative. Worse, they stop caring.

High-performing teams want accountability, but they also want autonomy. They want to know the destination, but they need room to find their own route. And the best leaders know how to hold that tension and provide guardrails without micromanagement.

I’ve seen teams completely unravel because a leader couldn’t let go of control. I’ve also seen what happens when someone finally says, “Hey, I think there’s a better way – can we try it?” and the room leans in instead of shutting down. That’s the difference between a dictatorship and a dynamic team.

At the end of the day, culture is built in the day-to-day: how we listen, how we empower, how we hold space for disagreement without making it personal.

If you want to lead in a way that builds trust and momentum, try this instead:

• Invite feedback early and often.
• Ask people what they see that you might be missing.
• Let go of the idea that your way is always the best way.
• Build flex into your plans.
• Encourage ownership by giving people room to try, to fail, and to adapt.

And in moments where you feel that old “my way or the highway” mentality creeping in, ask yourself:

• Am I trying to lead or just trying to control?
• Is there more than one way to reach the goal?
• Have I made space for others to shape the outcome?
• Am I protecting the mission or just my ego?

Culture isn’t about getting everyone to do things your way. It’s about creating a space where people bring their best together.

Choose collaboration over control. Choose growth over ego. Choose team over tyranny.